Somehow I thought retired people rode happily into the sunset of their retired years. This is not a truth for many of us. In the four weeks since I've retired, I have had frequent bouts of depression that seem to come out of nowhere. These bouts last from one to two hours and then they are gone and I am fine for awhile...and then they return.
In talking to friends that have retired before I did I am finding that this is not an uncommon issue. They tell me that they have all experienced it, that eventually it will pass, and yet from time to time it will re-occur. Interesting? Is there a study on this?
I thought that my depression stemmed from a number of things: 1) Leaving one area that I loved living in to move into another area (nice in its own way), 2) Leaving friends that I love behind, 3) Leaving behind a very nice life that I had built over the last 35 years; and, 4) during all of this watching my two closest friends end their marriage.
All of this stressful and I do believe it does account for my mood swings. Yet, when I talk to retired friends who have gone through less of a transition, they report the same depressions.
Today I have no answers. As I gaze from my computer across my warm and comfortable wee little house in the woods I find that at this moment I do not recognize it nor do I find any comfort in it. Yet sometime during this evening I will snap out of it and be ok.
BTW, I also recognize certain negatives in which I could not have continued to survive. For one thing I lived in the San Francisco Bay Area and in the 35 years I lived there it had gone from a fun magical place in which to live to a life that was defined only by wealth and developers only: gay life was dead, the art scene was dead, the music scene was dead, and the restaurant scene was disappearing. I still loved living there even though I did not live in a rent control area and my rent had cumulatively increased by $1,200 per month due to my predatory landlord (not from San Francisco but from Colorado Springs)...and I was tired of my hard-earned wages being consumed by rent to a stingy landlord who never did anything to improve my apartment. Also the company I worked for was not doing well so the question was would it last or would it not and if I were to be let go what would I do at my age. My lifestyle had also changed to a quieter lifestyle where time away from work was spent at home hanging out with the cat, reading, cooking.
So...by all standards I have landed well. Why am I depressed?!? I know better.
E'nuff!
In talking to friends that have retired before I did I am finding that this is not an uncommon issue. They tell me that they have all experienced it, that eventually it will pass, and yet from time to time it will re-occur. Interesting? Is there a study on this?
I thought that my depression stemmed from a number of things: 1) Leaving one area that I loved living in to move into another area (nice in its own way), 2) Leaving friends that I love behind, 3) Leaving behind a very nice life that I had built over the last 35 years; and, 4) during all of this watching my two closest friends end their marriage.
All of this stressful and I do believe it does account for my mood swings. Yet, when I talk to retired friends who have gone through less of a transition, they report the same depressions.
Today I have no answers. As I gaze from my computer across my warm and comfortable wee little house in the woods I find that at this moment I do not recognize it nor do I find any comfort in it. Yet sometime during this evening I will snap out of it and be ok.
BTW, I also recognize certain negatives in which I could not have continued to survive. For one thing I lived in the San Francisco Bay Area and in the 35 years I lived there it had gone from a fun magical place in which to live to a life that was defined only by wealth and developers only: gay life was dead, the art scene was dead, the music scene was dead, and the restaurant scene was disappearing. I still loved living there even though I did not live in a rent control area and my rent had cumulatively increased by $1,200 per month due to my predatory landlord (not from San Francisco but from Colorado Springs)...and I was tired of my hard-earned wages being consumed by rent to a stingy landlord who never did anything to improve my apartment. Also the company I worked for was not doing well so the question was would it last or would it not and if I were to be let go what would I do at my age. My lifestyle had also changed to a quieter lifestyle where time away from work was spent at home hanging out with the cat, reading, cooking.
So...by all standards I have landed well. Why am I depressed?!? I know better.
E'nuff!
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