Even though it now seems crazy to be talking about this, this is something I wrote in October, 2004.  I deeply apologize to my friends and family back east and in the midwest for talking about snow...especially after they have endured this past winter.  

"When people in Wisconsin/Minnesota talk about the 'first snow of the year' they are not referring to the first snow storm in January.  Rather they are referring to the first snow that heralds that winter is finally and really settling in.  The first snow of the season generally occurs anytime from the middle of November to early December in that part of the country.  In can be a large snow filled with dense water laden flakes...or it can be a dusting of powder on the roofs, on the ground, gently touching the trees.  What is important to remember is that by that time of the year the ground is sufficiently frozen and the snow will accumulate and stay---probably until March or April.

"I am not sure why the first snow is so significant in the psyche of those that dwell in that northern climate.  Old people smile, young children run for their sleds, puppies and kittens stare in bewilderment...or try to chase down each and every flake of the falling snow.  I myself remember sitting on a couch that was backed up to a window...with a good friend (nickname Tacky Tom)..and staring with wonderment as the first snow of the year and declaring to each other that is was awesomely beautiful.

"One of the first snows that I cherish in my memory occurred in the late 1970s...it may have been 1978 or 1979.  It was a time of economic stress for me.  I had gone through a divorce and then spent money on a new car (payments), bought new furniture (more payments), maxed out the credit cards (even more payments).  Lastly I was one hot cuties just hitting the gay scene in Minneapolis/St. Paul and out and about almost any night spending money.  At one point for almost six months, my bills each month exceeded my monthly income.

"That said I also had put myself on an extremely tight budget in order to work myself out of the mess I had created.  Each and every penny was accounted for during those days and I was gradually working my way out of that debt hole.  In summary, money was not in abundance...and what I did have went to paying rent, NSP, phone and creditors.

"During this period of time I learned a profound lesson.  The lesson was a simple one...it was simply learning to take pleasure in the little things:  pleasure in a good book, pleasure in the smell of fresh coffee brewing in the morning, pleasure in Jack Frost painting his magic on the windows during the night, my cat sleeping gently along my side, spending an afternoon laughing with a friend.  Fundamentally it was learning to see, touch, feel, and experience the basic sensual delights of life.  Learning that each of these things were and are wonderful experiences that money cannot and could not buy.  No matter how wealthy I become, that lesson will remain with me because I now know that it is these little things that carry us day in and day out through life.  The big things are pleasurable too...the magic of the holidays, significant birthdays, new cars, new homes...yet they come and they go.  It is the little things of life...appreciating them...that are the substance of our lives.

"So, during this period of time, one Sunday morning,  I had a "first snow" memory that I will carry with me for the rest of my life.

"I can no longer remember the cross street...but my apartment building sat at the intersection of Holly and this cross street in the Summit Hill area of St. Paul, MN.  This area during that time was an area of restored row houses, restored mansions (Victorian ladies of stone and mortar) and restored apartment buildings that had originally been build anywhere from the late 1800s to the 1930s.

"As I rose from bed and looked out the window at the Anglican church across the street...I realized it was snowing...the first real snow of the season.  In excitement I quickly showered and shaved...brewed a pot of coffee...and then donned by winter clothing to go to the Grand Avenue Bakery to get some pastries to go with the coffee...on the walk to the bakery I saw these two older women...so similar in look that I assumed they were sisters...walking arm in arm in the new snow, kicking it up with booted feet, and laughing together in the pleasure of the moment.

"It was and is even today...a memory that I carry with me.

"I did stand in line outside in the freezing cold and snow to get into the bakery and finally made my purchases...and then returned home to my warm apartment that was filled with the smell of freshly brewed coffee...and read the Sunday paper, ate well, sipped coffee, and watch snowflakes drifting past my windows.

"And I new all was well."

The great gay civilization that was San Francisco is now dead and gone.  Sure there are a few "destination" bars left in the Castro...and a few bars and clubs left south of Market.  However they are nothing more than a ghost of what once was a thriving gay population in what was once a magical city.

The death throes have been gradual and because of being gradual at times they have been invisible...yet they are there.  It is only when we gay people stop and look at what is now around us as opposed to the magical vibrant gay city that once was...do we finally realize the extent of our loss.

There are three major events that have attributed to the death of this gay civilization.  First there was the AIDS epidemic wiping out thousands of young gay men in the midst of their youth.  Then came the Dot.com boom years when prices of housing skyrocketed whether renting or buying.  At the time I did not live in a rent control apartment and I remember getting a $450.00 per month rent increase on Christmas Eve from my gracious and wonderful landlord.  I give this as an example of what the average working gay person has had to endure to remain in this area.  During this time the exodus of gay people, those that were not dead, started.  Lastly, we now have the techie boom and the cost of housing is so unbelievable that it is just that...unbelievable.  The exodus of gay people became a river...and the cost of living is the dam that prevents any new young or old gays from moving into the area.  Wages have stagnated, rents have soared and it is a lose/lose situation.

Is it not an interesting thought to ponder that here in this city, this Bay Area, that is bluer than blue in politics...that the middle class has been obliterated.  The same phenomena happened here that happened in the "red states" and "red cities"  in the rest of the country...and yet we had the mighty protection of elected Democrat officials???  The gay population in the Bay Area...San Francisco in particular...has been betrayed by its very own elected officials that have allowed this to happen...all in the name of the almighty dollar.  These Democrats that allowed this to happen...even encouraged it to happen...and are no better or any different that the Republicans.

The sense of betrayal is overwhelming.

Three things highlight the decay of this once great gay civilization.  First...as one is out and about...the constant cry of dismay is over the cost of housing.  This is not from "losers" (which is a term that some give to people that are not techies and wealthy) but from average working people:  teachers, accountants, managers and so on.  The refrain I hear is "I would like to move, but where would I move."  These people are locked in fear in their rent control apartments dreading the day when their predatory landlord will Ellis Act evict them to convert their one bedroom apartments into condos that will sell for $1 million or more.  Who can stay here, who can move here?

Second, I heard a conversation about a comfortable and popular dive bar called Esta Noche...that it has been sold and that the new owner is going to re-do the bar and put in flat screen TVs.  Yup, that is just what the Castro needs is another vanilla type bar with flat screen TVs playing sports.  Oh yay!  Remember the diversity of places to go that was here...in the Castro neighborhood, in the Polk, South of Market, even in the financial district.  Well, they are all gone now and what is left are boring sports bars.

Lastly, I bring up the Gay Pride Parade which is now corporate controlled.  Yes it still is a huge event but it is boring to the point of being beyond boring.  Money does not buy diversity.  I predict that the parade and crowd might be huge for another couple of years but then will start decreasing in size and will eventually resemble a gay event in a small midwestern city.  You see, as a gay, there is no "there" in San Francisco any longer.  Would people want to go to the handful of vanilla bars in the Castro when they probably could do better in their very own cities?  I think not.

In December I was at a bar called Badlands which is located in the Castro.  It does have good music...it is filled with flat screen TVs...and it does have a dance floor.  What struck me that night when I was there was how small city the bar seemed.  It was no longer edgy, exciting, filled with hot men.  Rather, it was a small city bar filled with what seemed a small city crowd.

So, yes, the once great gay civilization that was San Francisco is now over.  It is not quite gone...but it is over and will disappear in the next five to 10 years.