"David W." (Image Copyright Wylddane Productions, LLC)
The picture may be a touch blurry, but the memory remains clear, alive and well in my mind and in my heart.
A very wise Unity minister, Rev. Maureen Bass, once said that where we are right now, right at this point in time, is the culmination of every decision we have made. Even when we have refrained from making a decision, that in and of itself is a decision. Then, I might add, there are people we know, love and trust who make decisions and in turn their decisions effect as well as affect the decisions we make. At this point in my life as I gaze at this picture, I can feel...and almost reach out and touch this time of my life. It was a time of great love (at least for me) and a time that ended in life changing decisions.
David, actually his hame was Charles David but he went by the name David...Dave...was the first true love of my life. I'd come "out" in 1975 and met Dave in the spring of 1977.
Romance novels somewhere coined the terms "tall, dark and handsome." David was all of that...tall, dark, handsome and he was charming. He was that indeed and he was also a respected teacher, owned a duplex in south Minneapolis and drove a nice car. The combination of all of those things in one man...and that is why I fell for him "like a ton of bricks."
After the first night we spent together (it was at my place), I could smell his cologne on the pillow he had used. For a few nights after that first night...when going to sleep I would wrap my arms around that pillow and hold it close and imagine being with him.
Our affair lasted most of a year. You see, although I was in love with him...he did not love me as much. When our affair ended, he informed me that he had loved someone else during that time. No, he did not cheat on me but rather there was a man who he was in love with...and that was who he wanted to be with.
To put it mildly, David broke my heart with those words. I felt as if I could not breathe...could not live. My grief was so great and seemed so insurmountable that I finally turned to a grief counselor for help. The grief counselor was the antidote for my grief. He suggest I read Dr. Wayne Dyer's book Your Erroneous Zones. Quite simply that book changed my life and there is one lesson from that book became a personal mantra that I have used to this day. That lesson/quote is basically "you cannot change what happens to you; however, you are in control of how you react to that event."
I went on to build a wonderful life with many wonderful memories that bring a smile to my heart. I have loved and have been loved. My last lover, who was very romantic, once said to me "When you truly love someone, you never stop loving them." That is so true.
Many years have passed since my affair with David and I am now an old man. Yes, in a way, I still love him but I am so glad we did not work out because I would not have had the life that I have had...and still have. He is one of the threads that make up the fabric of my life and for that I am thankful.
You see, even when love is lost...it can be a blessing.
~Wylddane
A very wise Unity minister, Rev. Maureen Bass, once said that where we are right now, right at this point in time, is the culmination of every decision we have made. Even when we have refrained from making a decision, that in and of itself is a decision. Then, I might add, there are people we know, love and trust who make decisions and in turn their decisions effect as well as affect the decisions we make. At this point in my life as I gaze at this picture, I can feel...and almost reach out and touch this time of my life. It was a time of great love (at least for me) and a time that ended in life changing decisions.
David, actually his hame was Charles David but he went by the name David...Dave...was the first true love of my life. I'd come "out" in 1975 and met Dave in the spring of 1977.
Romance novels somewhere coined the terms "tall, dark and handsome." David was all of that...tall, dark, handsome and he was charming. He was that indeed and he was also a respected teacher, owned a duplex in south Minneapolis and drove a nice car. The combination of all of those things in one man...and that is why I fell for him "like a ton of bricks."
After the first night we spent together (it was at my place), I could smell his cologne on the pillow he had used. For a few nights after that first night...when going to sleep I would wrap my arms around that pillow and hold it close and imagine being with him.
Our affair lasted most of a year. You see, although I was in love with him...he did not love me as much. When our affair ended, he informed me that he had loved someone else during that time. No, he did not cheat on me but rather there was a man who he was in love with...and that was who he wanted to be with.
To put it mildly, David broke my heart with those words. I felt as if I could not breathe...could not live. My grief was so great and seemed so insurmountable that I finally turned to a grief counselor for help. The grief counselor was the antidote for my grief. He suggest I read Dr. Wayne Dyer's book Your Erroneous Zones. Quite simply that book changed my life and there is one lesson from that book became a personal mantra that I have used to this day. That lesson/quote is basically "you cannot change what happens to you; however, you are in control of how you react to that event."
I went on to build a wonderful life with many wonderful memories that bring a smile to my heart. I have loved and have been loved. My last lover, who was very romantic, once said to me "When you truly love someone, you never stop loving them." That is so true.
Many years have passed since my affair with David and I am now an old man. Yes, in a way, I still love him but I am so glad we did not work out because I would not have had the life that I have had...and still have. He is one of the threads that make up the fabric of my life and for that I am thankful.
You see, even when love is lost...it can be a blessing.
~Wylddane
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