Yesterday I learned that a friend that I'd known since I was nine years old had passed away. We were/are the same age so the news came as a shock. Although we'd not seen each other for many years, I'd always thought we'd see each other again now that I had moved back to this part of the country. I guess not.
Since yesterday my mind has been a constant video replay of memories shared with him...of his twin sister, of his parents, of his grandmother, of the farm where he grew up. I can honestly say he was a good man and now that he is gone I wish I would have done better at keeping in touch.
He was also my first...the first man with whom I had sex. We started fooling around in our early teens and it continued until we were well into our 20s. We never identified ourselves as "gay" but as I look back with the understanding of years I realize that it was a time of my identity coming into being. I truly believe he was bi-sexual for he went on to be married and have children and never looked back. Perhaps during those years of physical intimacy we were discovering ourselves while providing an outlet for our sexual energies.
His passage is also a reminder of my own mortality. It was always a comfort of sorts knowing that he was around...and now life seems a touch emptier because he is no longer here.
God bless you my dear friend...I have so many wonderful memories of knowing you and you will never know the wonderful impact you had upon my life. Then again, maybe you do know that now.
Since yesterday my mind has been a constant video replay of memories shared with him...of his twin sister, of his parents, of his grandmother, of the farm where he grew up. I can honestly say he was a good man and now that he is gone I wish I would have done better at keeping in touch.
He was also my first...the first man with whom I had sex. We started fooling around in our early teens and it continued until we were well into our 20s. We never identified ourselves as "gay" but as I look back with the understanding of years I realize that it was a time of my identity coming into being. I truly believe he was bi-sexual for he went on to be married and have children and never looked back. Perhaps during those years of physical intimacy we were discovering ourselves while providing an outlet for our sexual energies.
His passage is also a reminder of my own mortality. It was always a comfort of sorts knowing that he was around...and now life seems a touch emptier because he is no longer here.
God bless you my dear friend...I have so many wonderful memories of knowing you and you will never know the wonderful impact you had upon my life. Then again, maybe you do know that now.
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